[..A Rainy Summer in Heaven..]
“life is a world that exists inside a box of possibilities….”sTraNge DayS
For the past couple of days that passed, I just find it quite odd to see dark clouds forming above the sky and pouring some hard rain on the ground, when in fact it is already officially summer. Sometimes, even though it tortures me a lot, I still miss the warmness (or rather the extreme heat) that the sun is capable of giving. Now, whenever afternoon comes it is already expected that rain would visit again and would give that unusual feeling of loneliness that I don’t want to feel.
It suddenly dawns on me the fact that this should be – and all the other strange happenings around the globe, like drought in some places, the fast paced retreat of the ice sheet and some other catastrophes that emerged unexpectedly out of nowhere – a direct result of climate change/global warming. The subject about global warming is not something new, for it has already been a hot topic and has issued many debates among scientists and other concerned ones for decades already. People, including me, just totally became aware of it when without prior notice news about hurricanes that appeared suddenly and killed so many lives, wildfires that swallowed the dreams of families and the unbearable heat that burned the hopes in some places have transpired out of the result of this global event. When one would look to its cause it would only point into one thing – man’s excessive intrusion to alter nature. What is unacceptable is that we use harsh instruments to fulfill what we want and that we still often go beyond what nature forbids us to do. So many people are already awake from their deep slumber of unconsciousness, yet there are still individuals who are still unaware and who then have no prospect of what grave danger is to come to mankind if this crisis is left unnoticed.
These past weeks that I’ve been away – away from my laptop to blog and update some stagnant stuff – I visited some places in Laguna and Tagaytay. Wandering in these places made me realized how the world was crafted beautifully as if some magical hands have touched it. It’s been stunning to see both natural and cultural/man-made landscapes that seemed to have mushroomed in various places. In these places, it is not only noticeable how nature unites itself to man and vice-versa, but more than that how both nature and man are deeply connected and inseparable to one another. And suddenly, I began to think what might be the future of these unthinkable and amazing landscapes in the hands of human intervention in the form of technological invention and modernization. Two possibilities can occur: man, through the use of these advanced technologies, can either foster or destroy these magnificent landscapes.
It is undeniable that global warming is caused by the choice of man to push the limitations of nature so as to elevate himself further. At the same time the future of everything, of stunning places that we could still see right now, lies also in the hands of man. Right now this environmental crisis that our world is facing could still be altered into something positive. So many people ask what they could do to help our wounded world. The answer is very clear, make a stand first, a choice to be on the side of nature – to save it, protect it and nourish it – and everything else would follow. Then make a move even in some little actions that you do everyday with the purpose of healing gradually the world that is hurt. It doesn’t totally demand big actions, what it only requires are deeds and will to alter the present condition of the earth and to save all the other species at stake. Time is running out, but time could be nothing if we all act as one to breathe life to our world, to our unique blue planet and to our only home.
T2
Masaya din palang magbiyahe ng bangag.
Hindi ko alam kung papaano ko napapayag yung sarili ko na pumunta ng Ortigas kahapon, kahit na medyo wala na ako sa katinuan at bangag na ang utak ko noong mga oras na iyon dahil na rin sa mala-impyernong linggong pinagdaanan. Ang daming mga ginawa ngayong lingo – pagpasa ng mga walang kamatayang paperworks, pagsagot sa mga nakapanlulumong exams, pag-inom ng 3in1 na kape para lang gisingin ang sarili 24 oras at pagpupuyat hanggang madaling araw para lang matapos ang mga dapat gawin. Pero siguro, dahil malaki na rin yung utang ko sa isang kaibigan – hahaha, peace Kuya A. – hindi na ako nagdalawang isip na pumunta at kaladkarin yung sarili ko para lang bumisita, makipagkuwentuhan at pagkatapos ay gumala sa mga kalapit na malls sa paligid.
Nakakatakot din palang mag-isip ng nakakatakot habang mag-isang gumagala.
Pagkatapos ng short visit, naisipan kong gumala sa isang mall. Diretso sa isang bookshop at tumingin ng mga pinagnanasaang mga librong gusto kong bilhin, pero dahil na rin siguro sa sobrang gutom at sa hindi pa ako nagtatanghalian, dumiretso ako sa isang fastfood chain at kumain. Habang kumakain, may nag-pop sa utak ko – ang pelikulang T2 ni Maricel Soriano. Nakakatawa pero yun talaga yung pumasok sa utak ko noong mga oras na iyon – hindi ko tuloy alam kung dala yun ng kabangagan ko sa araw na iyon.
Sabi sa kin, ang ibig sabihin ng T2 ay tenement no. 2. Actually, para sa akin para ngang nakakatakot yung pelikula na tungkol sa mga engkanto, lalo na yung mga scenes sa trailer na may sumisitsit (eh ikaw ba naman ang sitsitan ng mga kung ano mang mga lamang lupa sa mundong ‘to, hindi ka ba naman ba matatakot?). Gusto ko tuloy tanungin yung isang staff ng restaurant (wala lang, trip lang) kung totoo ba talagang may engkanto sa paligid o kung nakaranas na siya ng mga ganung kababalaghan sa buhay niya, o baka naman pawang mga kathang isip lamang ito ng mga taong may likas na malakas na imahinasyon. Hindi ko na rin naitanong. Busy kasi siya sa paglilinis.
Nakakatakot ding isipin ang mga bagay na nakakatakot para sa akin.
Sa pag-iisip ko sa pelikulang T2, habang isinasawsaw ang fries sa gravy, hindi ko maiwasang magtanong sa sarili ko ng mga bagay na kinatatakutan ko sa buhay. Madami akong kinatatakutang bagay at pangyayari sa mundo. Natatakot akong paggising sa umaga, may katabi na pala akong ahas na gumagapang sa ulunan ko. Scary na makakita ng multo sa paanan ng kama ko – nakatitig, bilugan ang mata at parang si Kokey ang hitsura. Nakakatakot na bumagsak sa exam, lalo na ‘pag major ko yung subject. Nakakakilabot yung mga bagay na hindi ko pa nakikita at nararanasan – gaya ng makakita ng patay na nakahandusay sa daan. Natatakot akong gumising sa umaga na wala na kong nakikita. Mahirap isiping baka pagtapos ko sa college, wala akong datnan at hindi ko maabot ang mga pangarap ko. Natatakot akong ‘pag nakagawa ako ng isang mali, malaki ang balik sa akin. Ayokong isipin na baka dumating ang umaga na wala na akong dadatnang mga taong minamahal ko at nagmamahal sa akin. Natatakot akong muling buksan yung sarili ko sa isang espesyal na tao dahil sa banding huli, baka masaktan ulit ako at ako ulit ang uuwing talunan. Natatakot akong maranasan ang pag-iisa, ang posibilidad na itaboy ako ng walang dahilan ng ibang tao, ang walang masabihan ng mga gusto sa buhay at walang masandalan sa tuwing darating ang problema. Nanginginig ako sa lamig kapag naiisip kong: pa’no kung pagkatapos sa mundong ito, wala na palang kasunod?
Hindi lang pala ang mga horror na pelikulang katulad ng T2 ang nakakatakot. Ang dami pala nila. Nakakatakot ang pagiging tao sa mundong ito at maranasan lahat ng mga bagay na kinatatakutan natin.
Sir, Coffee?
Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko naitapak yung mga paa ko sa lugar ng isa na sigurong maituturing na pinaka-sikat na coffee shop/tambayan/sosyal na lugar sa bansa – Bituinbucks (gets?) – siguro medyo bangag na kasi ako nung mga oras na ‘yon, kaya kailangan ko ng kape na pampagising . Hindi ako magtataka kung bukas makalawa maging national landmark na ‘yun ng Pilipinas dahil sa sobrang daming taong pumupunta dun. Kaya ko namang maglabas ng wallet ko at kahit paano magpalipad ng pinagpawisang pera para makabili ng kape dun sa shop na yun, pero mahal pa ring maituturing yung ganung kapeng tila binudburan ata ng ginto para maging ganun kamahal, lalo na ngayong may krisis; tsaka swak na naman kasi sa akin yung mga simpleng kapeng nasa sachet tulad ng 3in1. Basta mukhang kape yung iniinom ko, nahihigop at nakakapagpabuhay ng dugo ko, ayus na sa akin.
“Anak ng garapata, ang bango!” hindi naman iyon ang una kong beses na makapasok doon, pero feeling freshie ako nung pumasok ulit ako. Mabango ang aroma ng kape. Nakakakiliti ng ilong. Nakaka-high. Pampagising sa mga nababangungot nung mga oras na iyon.
Order –
Attendant: Pleasant evening sir! Welcome to Bituinbucks!
Ako: Magandang gabi rin! Uhmmm, (isip nang matagal, tingin sa board) isa ngang (toooot).
A: Do you want it to be served hot or cold?
Ako: Yung mainit….
A: Are you taking it out, sir? (sulat sa kanyang maliit na papel)
Ako: Hindi, dito ko na lang iinumin.
A: Ahhh, okay. Your name sir?
Ako: *****
A: Anything else you want to be served together with your (toot), Sir *****?
Ako: Uhmmmmm, wala na. Okay na ako dun.
A: Okay Sir *****, (sabay turo sa cashier para magbayad doon) we’ll just deliver it in a few minutes on your table when it’s ready to be served. Thank you for ordering at Bituinbucks Sir *****. Enjoy the rest of the day. (Lingon sa susunod na customer)
Ako: Walang anuman (tapos, kuha ng resibo)!
Ewan ko kung isa sa mga qualifications para maging attendant sa shop na ‘yun ang pagiging marunong sa Ingles. Bawat lingon ko sa lugar na iyon, halos lahat ng mga nag-seservice ay nag-iingles. Lahat kala mo nagtapos sa Harvard para lang maging bihasa sa pagsasalita ng wikang iyon. Nagbubuga ng mga dollar words o words of the gods/capitalists, para maipakita sa customer ang kakayanan nilang makipagtalbugan sa kanila. Nakakamangha. Nakakatulo laway.
Sa paligid ko, dun sa mga katabi ko, Ingles rin ang napapakingan ko. Dahil sa mga pagwiwikang iyon, hindi mo na malaman kung sino ba talaga ang tunay na mga elitista ng lipunan at kung sino ang nagtatakip ng mascara upang masabihan nang pagiging kasapi sa mga dugong bughaw. Sinasakal ng mga words of the gods ang shop na iyon – pati ako. Nakakabingi. Nakakasawa.
Sa bansang uniti-unting niyayakap ng mga kansepto’t ideyang mula sa kanluran, at sa tradisyong inuupos ng bagong kulturang liberal na niluwal ng itinuturing nating “Savior of our Country”, hindi mahirap isipin kung bakit ganun na lang kalantad ang paggamit ng banyagang wika kaysa sa sariling atin. Hindi rin ganun kahirap mapagtanto kung bakit ang karamihan sa atin ay tila nagpapagapos na sa wikang Ingles dahil sa dala nitong pag-asang mailipad tayo sa kanluran at sa kaunlaran.
Sa mga klase ko sa Filipino, patuloy kong natututunan ang realidad na mahirap nang mapigilan ang pagkalat at patuloy na pag-ugat nang wikang Ingles kaysa sa Filipino. Hindi lamang nito pinapatay ang wikang nagsilang sa atin. Dahan-dahan din nitong dinudurog ang sarili nating identidad nang pagiging pagka-Pilipino.
Sa ibang punto, nagsasalita ako ng wikang Ingles. Yung iba sa atin, kahit paano, kahit hindi ganoon kadiretso, nakakapag-wika pa rin – barok style. Pero bakit pa ako hihigop ng kape ng iba, kung meron na akong sariling kapeng itinimpla?
Tenk U!
Pasasalamat!
Alam kong medyo late na itong aking pagpapasalamat ulit sa mga taong bumuo ng aking buong taon last year, lalo na nung Bohol trip at Christmas party. Pero ‘di ba better be very late than never. (Pasensya na kung dito ko pa nailagay, peace!)
Una, kina Tito Beng at Tita Clet. Salamat sa mga chocolates na padala, kahit medyo sumakit yung katawan ko sa pakikipagbunguan sa iba para lang makakuha ng Milky Way at in the end yung ngipin ko sa kakasamuol ng mga chocolates, salamat pa rin! Sa uulitin ulit! At sana after Bohol, sa HK naman! (nag-susugest lang naman po!)
Kina Kuya Brandon at Ate Dada! Salamat sa halos araw-araw na food trip, lalo na sa pasta last December! Astig yun! Walang tatalo dun, bonggang-bongga! Salamat din pala sa bookmark Ate Dada! Isang bagsak ng aking pagpapasalamat sa inyong dalawa! Sana by next two years, makabalik ulit kayo! Yeah man!
Kay Kuya Em, salamat sa ‘di malilimutang pagpapa-spa! Kahit medyo na-violate nang kaunti, ayos lang, sulit pa din naman eh, tska ang importante, laugh trip ng sobra after ng massage! Kay Ate Mel, kahit hindi ‘to nakasulat sa Ingles pa-interpret mo na lang kay Kuya Em ang hirap mag-ingles eh, tska dapat sanayin mo na kasi dapat matuto ka nang magtagalog. Anyway, salamat sa “The Killers” dahil dun mas na-enjoy ko pa yung mga kanta nila kahit medyo sumakit yung ulo ko sa kakayugyog ng ulo para sa jamming. Salamat ng sobra! Sa susunod ulit, ibang album naman. Hahahaha. Peace! Sana na-enjoy mo na yung book!
Kay cousin Chean, salamat sa pagsama sa Bohol. Kahit medyo ipinagpalit mo yun sa exam, ayus lang enjoy naman eh! Wala talagang tatalo sa ‘yo inday! Salamat sa pagpapatawa, pagkembot at pagrocken-roll! Kembot mo! Itaas mo para sa walang hanggang kasiyahan! Patola!
Kulang na ata yung space, pero sa lahat nang buong angkan, salamat at kumpleto lahat nung last Christmas – first time through the years. Salamat sa nakakahingalong games, kasumpa-sumpang sayawan, kantahan, walang hingahang agawan, sunggaban at sakitan sa mga chocolates, siksikan sa kama at sa halos walang kamatayang kainan nung kainan, super Salamat! Palakpakan! Sa uulitin ulit! By next year!
Alam kong hindi ito sapat para ipagpasalamat yung mga tao na bumuo nung ending ng taon ko last year! Kahit medyo masalimuot yung mga early months, nakumpleto ang lahat nung last December! Salamat sa saya! Salamat sa taon! Salamat sa inyo! Puwede na ba akong best actor sa Famas….? Woooooooh!
hanggang sa dulo ng mundo
hanggang maubos ang ubo
hanggang gumulong ang luha
hanggang mahulog ang tala
masdan mo ang aking mata
di mo ba nakikita
ako ngayo’y lumilipad at nasa langit na
gusto mo ba’ng sumama?
– Alapaap, Eraserheads
(palakpakan) (ngiti) (torotot) (exit)
The world is awesome!
It’s been a long time now since my last blog entry post, and I really don’t know what took me so long to write again all the things that I need to blurt out and share. There had really been a lot of stuffs and events that happened in the last several weeks that came, and right now I’m not only begging for the words to come in, but I’m also praying for some inspirations to let my thoughts speak out some few, if not all, major events and realizations that took place. It’s now quite hard to continue what has been started. (Coke zero please!)
Last December, my whole family, together with some of our relatives from States, went to Bohol for us to have a vacation. And what can I say about it? It’s a must-see paradise before you die! It’s as if you just wanted to sleep on the hammock and be finally at peace. The breathtaking sight that caresses me on its arms, the blue water that screams of kindness and peace at whoever makes a contact with him, the sand that massages the sole of the feet and the sky that is blessed with purity, all of these things are just beyond reality. It just makes me grateful for the fact that there’s still paradise despite all of the confusion (and global financial crisis) of today. But actually, when I came there peace wasn’t always there. There were some gaps that came where peace didn’t come.
More than meeting Bohol, when I arrived there, when I’ve finally placed my feet on the white beach and when I’ve made my way on top of the hill to have a one-on-one conversation with the Chocolate Hills, it’s not just all about relaxing and freeing my mind from the anxieties of the past, some worries of the future and even some of the must-forget people last 2008, but believe me or not and no kidding about this, I just started to reflect and ponder on things, on people surrounding me at that time, and about my weird self – I guess being unique makes us all weird, am I right?
Sometimes, just like what happened to me, when you find the time to be momentarily free from this world and the space to be alone and to reflect upon things “seriously”, you would soon discover yourself planning the things that you would want to do for the coming days or perhaps for the years to arrive – like buying myself a professional camera (well, just wishing for it!) buying the books that I’ve been dying to acquire or visiting a country, preferably New Zealand or Ireland or any place that has a stunning view and makes me at peace – and pondering the events that only concern you – like the upcoming Valentine’s Day without that special someone beside me and the impending end of this semester (with all those excruciating burdens at my back).
But actually it doesn’t stop there, because you begin to think and observe other people as well. Okay, I’m not trying to be someone religious or trying to sound out of this world in here, but it’s really true, most especially for me. You see, when given the amount of time to be free, you would soon begin to observe, and later on reflect upon it, other people, their sometimes treacherous and sometimes angelic behavior and how you would be able to place yourself into their own private world. On like how, knowing that they only have short time to be with you and the rest of others, you would spend your time productively with them. And on how you would make them happy or thankful by cracking some corny-corn beef jokes and finally say to yourself that you’ve been part of that person you’ve met. You begin to plan, you begin to observe, you begin to think about the things that you have observed and you begin to think of buying an ice-cream and siomai after these things – Lol.
After thinking all about these things (and eating my fried siomai with ice-cream), I continue to realize how life could be so short and could be forever useless if those dreams and thoughts are not to be put into reality. Life could end without permission and in a variety of ways, and if those thoughts are not to be met it could just end up in a trash, wasted. The Doorman chooses no one. It randomly selects from a given set of people.
Sometimes, like right now, being serious is cool. It makes me ask myself: why on earth am I thinking about these serious stuffs when I am allowed to think of something else? I guess coming to maturity is the answer.
They say that New Year – January 1 – is a new beginning, but I say, each new day that comes is a new beginning. Life passes quickly and it calls on me to do the things I like the most and at the same time act the things I’m to do to other people. It asks me to earn (or maybe ask, lol) money for that elusive professional camera, to finally say hello to “She” and to all the other things I mentioned above. Some are quite hard to achieve, but I guess I should not just stop dreaming or thinking or planning. It’s either not to act and let it pass, or to act so as to continue.
Is it long already? Sorry, but I guess it’s just a result of my two months hiatus from blogging. I miss doing this thing.
Hello again to the world! Hello to “She”.
[..A Rainy Summer in Heaven..] 